I don’t need a heartbreaker
Fifty-faced trouble maker
Two timing time taker
Dirty little money maker
Muscle bound cheap skate
Low down woman hater
Triple crossing double dater
Yella bellied alligator…
When you think of alligators you might think of Florida, but we had them where I lived in North Carolina too. In fact, we served them at our rehearsal dinner when I married my wife. It’s — to this day — something I regret. Not the wedding, but making gators into food.
Tomorrow’s our 14th anniversary, which is almost unbelievable to me, but I couldn’t be happier.
Still, I worry about all the gator attacks back home. They’re hiding in sewers, lakes, marshes. Is there any truth that they come up through the toilets and bite when one misbehaves? Right in the soft parts?
They are not easy to kill. Their hide is thick and their brains are small, and if you miss the target, you’ll have succeeded in ticking off one of the Earth’s most efficient predators.
Alligators are getting a bad rap. Yesterday a guy hit one with his car and died, so who does the media blame? Right. The alligator. The rest of the story is he hit the gator, and then a tree, while not wearing a seat belt. So let’s get the whole short story, ok?
“Probably the best advice of all to give everyone about alligators is not to feed them,” Pritchett said.
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